A new family addition

[seemagicshit]

[Rain pattered against the windows at a steady rate. It made a nice backdrop to the soundscape of Zhao's apartment. The rice cooker chirped pleasantly, miso soup burbled on the stove and the clink of dishware all harmonized and emphasized that a meal would be forthcoming.

Zhao whistled a little tune as he got everything ready. He'd opted for more traditional Japanese this time around, but had an extra dish of grilled chicken for his boyfriend's extra protein needs. He eyed the rain beginning to increase outside. Joon-gi Han would be perfectly fine in his coat, but it was going to leave a mess.

He eyed some of his more threadbare towels, wondering which he could throw on the floor to sit under the sopping coat when he heard the door unlock.]

Hey, baby, you made it just in time for dinner.

Comments

[joongipan]

[ Joon-gi pushed open the door and stepped inside, water pooling beneath his heavy boots. He clutched at the front of his jacket with one hand, hood pulled low over his eyes, but it wasn't enough to hide how the driving rain had drenched his face, plastering his silver hair against his forehead. ]

Sorry I'm late. I would have called to let you know, but... I dropped my phone in a puddle.

[ He blinked the water from his eyes and stood there, unwilling to step past the genkan until he'd divested himself of his filthy boots and sodden jacket.

But first, he needed to deal with a certain 'surprise guest'... ]

Could you come here and help me with something?

[ He kept one hand tightly clutched over his chest, keeping a steady hold over the squirming passenger tucked within his shirt. He could feel the damp fur and tiny claws pricking against his bare skin, and hoped against hope that the poor thing would pull through. ]

[seemagicshit]

Holy balls, did you try punching out the puddle for messing up your phone?

[The only time he saw his boyfriend with hair plastered flat was right out of the shower. He didn't look like he was hurt but maybe he tried to get his phone and he tripped?]

All right, let me see what I can...hunh. Are you holding something?

[It didn't stop Zhao from getting one of the threadbare towels, but he was getting a sneaking suspicion that Joon-gi's misadventure with the rain had another explanation.]

[joongipan]

[ He averted his gaze, dark eyes darting briefly to one side before focusing on Zhao once more. ]

It was a deep puddle... [ That part, at least, was true. ] Luckily, I was able to fish it out in time. I think I can still salvage it.

[ Just drop it in a bowl of rice and leave it to dry out overnight. It's not as though they were in short supply or anything.

With his free hand, Joon-gi pushed back the hood from his face, revealing sopping wet hair. The front of his jacket was streaked with dirt and grit, the knees of his pants equally filthy.

It looked as though he'd been crawling through the mud on his belly. Which... wasn't that far off the mark.

Joon-gi stiffened at the sudden question. He could feel the small, sodden lump of fur squirming fitfully against his chest. It mewled plaintively, barely audible from beneath the shelter of his jacket. ]

I... I can explain. [ He lowered his gaze, shamefaced, looking for all the world like a kicked dog. ] Please, don't be mad.

[ Carefully, Joon-gi unzipped his jacket. The shirt beneath was just a damp as his hair, and partially unbuttoned. A small, white kitten was cradled against his chest, its crusty eyes closed tight against the water dripping from its fur. He could feel it trembling against his chest, near frozen from the cold.

He looked at Zhao, his gaze soft. Pleading. ]

I couldn't just leave it there...

[seemagicshit]

[Okay so definitely gotta dry the phone in rice and to be fair, Joon-gi did look wet and bedraggled. The exact reason escaped him until he heard a tiny mew and saw the equally miserable kitten.

They'd only been cohabitating for about a month, maybe close to two. So Zhao was used to Joon-gi bringing home random shit he found on the street to try to salvage into something useful. So he stifled a groan at him maybe finding yet another "project" that was going to sit in the corner of the apartment.

A kitten though? That caught him completely off guard. He opened his mouth then closed it, rocking back on his heels for a moment.]

Well...shit, let's put you and that thing in the bathroom. Who knows if it's got fleas or not and I don't want that all over the goddamn place.

[He divested his boyfriend of his jacket, hung it over the towel on the floor and ran to the bathroom to start some warm water. Okay think think, maybe put the kitten in the sink with warm water, scrub it up and then dry it off? It'd keep any fleas to the sink instead of everywhere else. Not to mention Joon-gi needed a warm shower so he didn't get sick.]

[joongipan]

[ His brows furrowed at the mention of fleas. Not that he'd had time to give the kitten a proper once over, but he'd considered the possibility and vowed to accept the consequences of his actions.

But that didn't stop the instinctive shudder at the thought that he might wake up covered with itchy bites the next morning... ]

Thank you. [ His face relaxed. ] I swear, if I see even a single flea crawling across the floor, I'll scrub the entire place from top to bottom. Promise.

[ The tension he'd been holding immediately eased from his shoulders when Zhao divested him of his jacket. Joon-gi sat down on the raised step, carefully unlacing his boots with one hand while he continued to cradle the kitten with the other. He tossed his muddy boots aside and peeled off his socks, leaving them in a wadded heap on the tiled floor.

Right. Now to get to the bathroom without making too much of a mess. He padded across the floor on the balls of his feet, like some caricature of a burglar breaking into a home unawares.

He'd clean up the wet footprints later. Right now, there were more pressing concerns.

Joon-gi heard the sound of the sink running as he entered the bathroom. The kitten mewled louder, as though it knew instinctively the terrible fate that lay in store. He took it as a good sign that maybe the kitten would be a fighter, that it would survive this ordeal.

In that regard, perhaps they weren't so different. ]

Do you think it's alright to use normal shampoo on a cat? [ He made to reach for his phone, and then remembered that it was too wet to power on. Damn. ] Maybe you can look it up, just in case?

[ Hell, he hadn't thought that far ahead when he'd picked the little guy up. Maybe he could have stopped by the pet supply market on the way home if he'd been in his right mind. ]

[seemagicshit]

Oh I'm definitely holding you to that, don't you worry.

[Okay, this water felt like it was warm enough. He removed all his rings and plunked them in his pockets before taking a hold of the soggy wet creature and dunking it warm water. It did not appreciate the attempts to save its life and mewled in protest.

Even without soap, the warm water proved useful to getting out the dirt. He wiped his hands on a towel and immediately began looking up various kitten related facts. He groaned as he figured out the truth.Holy fuck he just wanted a nice dinner with his boyfriend. He was not expecting this at all. He wanted to get angry at the kitten, but it wasn't its fault for existing. Plus, getting angry at a kitten seemed like a stupid waste of time although he was giving it the biggest side eye. At least it seemed cleaner and he vigorously toweled off the tiny thing.]

Okay, new plan. You, gimmie your phone. I'll try to dry it out. Use your hair dryer on our houseguest. I'm gonna go get a bunch of shit. Take a shower and have some dinner 'cause it's ready. Don't let that thing out of the bathroom.

[joongipan]

[ He watched anxiously from behind Zhao as he held the struggling kitten under a stream of warm water. It mewled louder, legs pinwheeling the air over Zhao's fingers as it tried to wriggle out of his gentle grip. At least he'd had the wherewithal to remove all of his rings...

Zhao bundled the kitten in a towel and began rubbing it dry. The kitten decided to demonstrate its tiny lung capacity by screaming louder. ]

H-Hey! Be a little more gentle, would you? It's a kitten, not a greasy pot you're cleaning!

[ Zhao passed the now somewhat clean kitten to Joon-gi, who pulled his phone out of his side pocket, handing it to Zhao. It was times like these he was glad he'd invested in the more expensive case. If not for the waterproofing feature, his phone definitely would have been toast. ]

Can you bring me a box with some bedding in it? You can't expect her to sleep comfortably on a cold tile floor, can you?

[ Her? Was it actually a girl? He hadn't bothered to check, but... He was going off vibes, for now.

Settling himself on the plastic stool, Joon-gi spread the towel open on his lap and began blow-drying the struggling kitten. Even with the hair dryer on the lowest setting, it still screamed bloody murder. He could feel its little claws pricking his fingers as it tried to get a purchase, but he kept a firm hold so it wouldn't tumble to the floor. ]

I'm sorry... I know you hate it, but it's for your own good, okay? You'll feel so much better once you're completely dry.

[seemagicshit]

[As soon as he was critiqued on his kitten wrangling and to fetch a box, he felt his temper grow. So, rather than let it continue to build, he walked around the apartment to make sure dinner didn't burn, preparing one portion for Joon-gi and saving the other for himself where'd be reheating it at whatever point he'd get to eat. Dry rice in a canister along with the phone. Now a box and sacrificing a fleece lap blanket he had no idea where he'd gotten from. Before he re-entered the bathroom, he took a few cleansing breaths. He wasn't going to yell at a cat. He might still yell at his boyfriend but he'd try to rein in that impulse for now.]

Here we go. This'll have to do for now.

[He probably wasn't even heard over the hair dryer and that thing's lung capacity.]

Take a shower and eat. I'll be back when I'm back.

[The last thing Zhao muttered as he left their apartment was:] ...kitten formula are you fucking kidding me every four hours holy fuck...

[joongipan]

[ The door to the bathroom opened. Joon-gi glanced to the side and saw Zhao deposit a cardboard box stuffed with a fleece blanket on the floor. He caught sight of those dark eyes narrowed in irritation, the small wrinkle between his brow, and Joon-gi knew that his boyfriend was well and truly pissed.

Something cold and familiar twisted in the pit of his stomach at that look. ]

Thank you. [ His voice was small, meek. Placating. ] Stay dry out there, okay?

[ Once the kitten was thoroughly dry, he placed it inside the box with the blanket and took the opportunity to shower. After that, he changed into clean clothes, tossing his dirty laundry into the wash. He wiped up the wet footprints off the floor and gathered the soiled towels together for the next load of laundry.

Somehow, he should have known that Zhao would be upset. Why wouldn't he? It's not as though Joon-gi had asked his permission before bringing home a stray. Hell, they hadn't even discussed the issue of getting a pet in the first place!

Joon-gi went to the kitchen and saw the food set out for him. Despite his irritation, Zhao had taken the time to perfectly portion his meal and artfully arrange the place setting, even though he'd be eating alone.

He didn't feel much like eating, not when he knew that he was responsible for ruining dinner. But to leave such a thoughtfully prepared meal untouched would be even more shameful.

He'd start with the soup, for now. It was the perfect thing to warm him up on such a cold and miserable day.

Hopefully, when Zhao returned, he'd see the effort Joon-gi took to cleaning up and would be put in a better mood. ]

[seemagicshit]

[Zhao's irritation only grew as he had to trudge out in the rain with his umbrella, making sure his phone was zipped up in a pocket in his jacket. The nearest pet store wasn't exactly a jaunt down the street, not to mention he needed to do more than go to the corner store and pick up whatever they had. And he was thorough because he didn't want to have to do this at 3 am because he forgot something.

The rain had intensified and his temper almost snapped when a gust of wind blew his umbrella inside out and he heard a tell tale snap of one of the ribs.

Then he had an epiphany. Even though he swore that he felt ice hit him in the back of the head, he realized if Joon-gi Han hadn't found that kitten, it'd be dead. The weather fucking sucked and he was positive he was going to get sick since it was going to take forever to find a cab, but he had a place to go. It wasn't the end of the world. Just an evening that got blown up by the unexpected.

What if something had happened to his friends, like their power went out and they needed a place to crash? Would he be pissed off at having to get a few extra things to help them out. Not only that, Joon-gi just had a...look to him. He didn't know how to describe it, but it didn't sit right, having him look at Zhao like that.

If getting a shitload of supplies and trying to help the little mewling bastard live would make his boyfriend smile, then that's what he was going to do. So it was more than two hours later Zhao returned, wet and miserable but laden with protected reusable bags of everything he could think of, including shampoo, kitten formula, flea combs, more blankets, litter, all that shit.]

Where's the little stinky? Gonna feed it with what I picked up.

[joongipan]

[ It took him far longer to finish dinner than he would have liked. But Zhao would probably be more upset if he let his food go cold, so he forced himself to eat when he had hardly any appetite.

Afterward, he busied himself with doing this dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. Then he tidied up the living room, gathering together wayward magazines, folding blankets, straightening pillows and cushions. Such menial tasks helped to pass the time, as one interminable minute slipped into the next.

How long had it been since Zhao had left? Joon-gi made to reach for his phone yet again, then suddenly remembered it was out of commission. His fingers curled into a loose fist as nervous energy thrummed through him.

The rain continued to streak down the windows. Thunder rumbled distantly. It was really coming down, now.

He hated the thought of Zhao being caught out in such weather. Even with an umbrella, he'd probably be soaked to the bone.

Joon-gi went to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. He set out some cups and grabbed a box of loose leaf tea, so he could be ready when Zhao finally returned. He'd surely appreciate a cup of hot oolong tea after trekking through the rain.

Just as he was pulling some towels out of the dryer, he heard the key turning in the lock. Joon-gi immediately snapped to attention, like a soldier being summoned for drills, and hurried to front door. He stood there, clutching a towel against his chest.

He felt his pulse tick faster as the door opened and Zhao entered, and Joon-gi mentally braced himself for Zhao's reaction.]

Welcome home.

[ His attentive gaze quickly took in Zhao's bedraggled state, the broken umbrella, the shopping bags looped over his arms. Strands of hair had fallen loose from his perfectly combed style, and his glasses were dotted with beads of water. He couldn't see Zhao's eyes behind the smoky lenses, and something small and anxious coiled in the pit of his stomach.

But when Zhao spoke, all the nervous tension eased, and Joon-gi's stiff expression softened. ]

She's sleeping in her box. I put a heating pad in there to keep her warm, so she should be fine.

[ What he neglected to mention was that he'd been checking on her between tasks, just to make sure she was still breathing. Who knew owning a pet could be so stressful? ]

Let me take those bags while you dry yourself off. I can make you some tea, if you want it?

[seemagicshit]

Hell yes I want tea.

[He sneezed and handed off the bags to Joon-gi while he divested himself of his jacket and slipped off his shoes. Being able to eat and drink would be amazing, but if he was going to do this right, he'd have to handle the kitten's needs first dammit. So he broke into the packages with the kitten formula and shivered in his kitchen while he read the instructions, making sure fill up the bottle he also got. When it felt just warm enough but not too warm, he took the bottle, a little sheet and the flea comb and squelched his way into the bathroom.]

Heh. Lookit how fluffy she is. Alright, stinky, let's look you over.

[Still half asleep, she didn't protest when Zhao picked her up. He knew he needed to get out of his wet clothes, but this was going to bother the piss out of him until he did it so may as well finish. He took the dry towel from Joon-gi, draped it on his lap and then placed a white sheet over that. Then he placed the kitten on top and proceeded to comb over every inch of the kitten. She was less than impressed, screaming at this treatment, but everything he read told him this was the best way to see if he shook out any fleas. He must have lucked out or if she had any fleas, the rain washed them away, but the thorough comb revealed nothing.]

All right, lots better. Now c'mon. [He set the comb aside and offered the bottle. Wonder of wonders, the kitten seemed to take to that immediately.]

There you go. Just like your ma's tit. Drink up.

[She really was tiny, only as big as his hand if that. Even though he still shivered in his wet clothes, the kitten was drinking and fighting to live and that made him genuinely smile.]

[joongipan]

[ He set the bags on the kitchen table, pulling the contents out one by one and looking them over. Zhao took the package of formula, not even bothering to change out of his wet clothes, and began heating some water on the stovetop. ]

You don't have to do that...

[ But Zhao was in his 'don't bother me, I'm cooking' stance, and Joon-gi knew better than to argue with the chef while he was in his element, so he let the matter go, for now.

Well, he'd prepare the tea later, once the stove was freed up. In the meantime, Joon-gi busied himself with setting up the litter box and finding space to put away all their new purchases. There were several little catnip toys, which weren't exactly essential, but Zhao had bought them anyway.

He was really committed to this, wasn't he? Warmth surged through him at the thought that Zhao might actually want this kitten, too.

Joon-gi grabbed another towel before making his way to the bathroom. For a moment, all he could do was stand in the doorway, watching as Zhao cradled the tiny ball of white fluff in the palm of his hand while he bottle-fed it.

To think that he had seen those hands break a man's nose with one well-placed punch. But now, in this moment, they were nothing but gentle.

He carefully draped the towel over Zhao's shoulders, allowing his hands to rest there as he lowered himself into a comfortable crouch behind him. ]

Why don't you let me take over, jagiya? [ He gave Zhao's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, hoping he'd listen to reason. ] You need to get out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold.

[ He wrapped his arms around Zhao's shoulders, and pressed himself flush against his back. He could feel Zhao shivering within the protective circle of his arms, and Joon-gi knew that he would only blame himself if Zhao got sick. ]

[seemagicshit]

[Zhao would have protested that he was doing a fine job of feeding the little monster, but the Korean endearment warmed him inside and out. It was rare Joon-gi indulged in such things and the fact he felt comfortable enough doing so made Zhao busting his ass out in the rain all worth it.]

Okay, she gotta drink it and then I think we park her on the litterbox for a little bit to see if it prompts her to take a shit or whatever kittens do.

[He glared down at the transfer of the ball of fluff.]

All right, stinky. Keep drinking.

[With the kitten transfer complete, Zhao shucked off his wet clothes right then and there, set all his accessories on the sink and got into the shower.]

Holy fuck this is the warmest shower EVER!

[Whether or not this would prevent a cold remained to be seen, because he definitely felt a chill in his bones. He might be able to hold it off if he layered enough and had a lot of covers in bed.]

[joongipan]

[ Joon-gi cradled the kitten against his chest and dabbed at a bit of formula that had dribbled out of her mouth. It mewled in protest at his gentle ministrations, but that was to be expected. ]

You can't keep calling her 'stinky,' she just had a bath. [ He huffed a fond but exacerbated laugh at Zhao's teasing. It was a sure sign that he was in a better mood, at least, so he'd take it. ] Besides, we're going to need to give her a proper name if we're going to keep her.

[ Joon-gi politely averted his gaze as Zhao began to strip down, leaving his clothes in a sad, sodden little pile on the floor. Another mess that he'd attend to later, once he was finished tending to the kitten. ]

I'll have some tea ready once you're out of the shower.

[ He closed the door behind him to keep the warm air from escaping before making his way to the kitchen. The kitten reminded him, rather insistently, that she was still hungry, so he put the kettle on and took the opportunity to finish feeding her while he waited for the water to boil. It was a rather messy affair; she seemed to be getting more of the formula on her face than she was in her belly.

Maybe he was doing something wrong? He sighed and wiped her face clean with a damp cloth. She seemed to like that, as her mewling soon quieted, and Joon-gi wondered if it reminded her of being groomed by her mother...

The thought gave him pause as he remembered the way his own mother scrubbed at his cheeks with her thumbs, trying to chase away his tears. His father had been yelling at him about something that was probably inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, but to a six year old child, it felt like the end of the world. Yet he remembered how gentle his mother's hands had been on his face and how she held him close afterward, whispering soothing words into his ear.

The kettle whistled. Joon-gi set the kitten in her little blanket box and began to prepare the tea. He set the cups on the table, then went to go reheat Zhao's leftovers from dinner. He made a place setting opposite his seat and reached for his own cup, sipping at his tea while he waited for Zhao to get finished with his shower. ]

[seemagicshit]

[It felt so good to warm up in the shower, letting the heat sink in. It gave him a chance to think on what they were gonna do about the little squeaky creature taking up residence in their home.

Like any kid, he tried to sneak home animals to take care of. He'd been doing a good job of giving a home to a local stray dog, making a nice little place to be by a dumpster and sneaking it food from the restaurant.

Until his father had found out. What he hadn't realized is that he kept careful account on all supplies at Qing Jin and noticed some errors. So with ruthless efficiency, he got to the bottom of it and found Zhao feeding his pet with high quality meat. He'd been punished, of course, punched hard enough to knock him on his ass. Then it was explained to him that he'd been technically stealing and to work it off, he'd be studying at Qing Jin and helping out with various tasks to make things right.

It had inadvertently set him on the start to restaurant management, so a bright spot. But his dad and the old guard had to always go one step further. It was funny, it had been so devastating as a kid, but now he could look back at that memory as an adult and just sigh. Was it really necessary to have some trainee assassins break the dog's neck right in front of him? Like, what the fuck?

He'd forgotten about that whole thing, but the more he thought about it, probably why he didn't go for pets in general. With the situation now, he might have a chance to do it right, but they'd be smart. Practical.

Shower done, he toweled himself dry, wandered to their room, got dressed in the warmest clothes he had and set himself at the table where his food sat for him, along with a steaming cup of tea.]

Thank you, baby. [He'd been so hungry and goddamn if the food didn't revive him. Especially the tea and he raised a cup and nodded to Joon-gi as if to say "well done."]

New plan. Every four hours we gotta feed the beast. Tomorrow, we'll go to a vet. If the vet says "this cat is diseased and fucked up" then we do the humane thing and say goodbye. We are not naming her until we know what we're dealing with. If the vet's like "actually she's a fucking tank and not that bad," we're going to have a whole other conversation about what we're doing. That conversation might involve names. Does that sound fair to you?

[joongipan]

[ Joon-gi lifted his eyes from his cup as Zhao approached and offered a small smile as he seated himself at the table. ] Feeling better, now?

[ He certainly looked better, that's for damn sure. He watched as Zhao reached for his tea, noticing the small chips in his black nail polish. Maybe he'd offer a manicure and a touch-up as a way to show his appreciation for Zhao braving the weather to gather kitten supplies? Joon-gi did enjoy spoiling his boyfriend, and he certainly deserved a little spoiling after nearly catching his death out there.

Joon-gi shook his head, denying the praise, though a part of him still appreciated the thought. ]

Don't give me all the credit. You're the one who cooked everything; I just warmed it up for you. [ He paused, taking a sip of his tea. ] By the way, thank you for dinner. The miso soup was perfect, as usual.

[ He held his cup between both hands, savoring the warmth seeping into his fingers. He spared a glance at the box tucked near his chair, seeing the kitten curled comfortably on her side, sleeping soundly. He watched the rise and fall of her chest with each small, shallow breath; the occasional twitch of her limbs; the way her tiny pink tongue peeked out of her mouth.

He listened as Zhao spoke, and Joon-gi's fingers tightened around his cup. He kept his eyes firmly lowered, staring into his tea, and met his own stoic reflection staring back at him.

Several long moments passed in tense silence before he finally spoke, softly: ] No. It's not fair.

[ Slowly, Joon-gi lifted his gaze and met Zhao's eyes. Something was brittle in that look, his dark eyes like two pieces of obsidian—sharp but hopelessly fragile. ]

Not giving her a name is like saying you've already given up hope. Well, I haven't! She's a fighter, I know it. I almost crushed my arm trying to fish her out from behind a dumpster because she was so determined to get away from what she thought was a predator. Even when I finally managed to drag her out, she kept trying to squirm out of my hands. That's how desperately she wants to live, don't you see?

[ As Joon-gi spoke, his voice hitched sharply in his throat. He took a breath, and tried to regain control of his voice. To maintain the calm, cool facade that he had always cultivated ever since he took up the name of the former Joon-gi Han as his own.

But he couldn't. Not when the memory of his father's cold, dispassionate face surfaced in his thoughts.

Don't you dare bring another filthy animal like that into my home. Or the next time, you'll have the pleasure of disposing of the trash yourself.

He tried to school his features, but he could feel the threat of tears stinging at his eyes. ]

I know you think it's a waste of time, but I want to give her a name. I want to at least grant her that one, small dignity so that, should the time come, I can give her a proper farewell. Then she'll know that she was loved, if only for a little while...

[ He never got the chance to say good-bye to Eun-so, never got the chance to beg her forgiveness. By the time he had returned home from school, the deed was done, and all her belongings were already in the trash. There was nothing he could do.

Maybe that's why he couldn't simply leave this kitten to die. Maybe, in some small way, he could make amends to Eun-so, if only to her memory.

Joon-gi averted his gaze and hastily scrubbed a hand across his face, hoping that it would be enough to halt the tears threatening to overflow. ]

[seemagicshit]

[Man, you think you know someone. Zhao looked at Joon-gi like he'd grown another head. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction about a random kitten. However, the more he thought about it, it made a kind of sense. He took his role at being a bodyguard very seriously. Maybe this was just that kind of instinct being transferred over to someone in his care.

It just clashed so much with his boyfriend's stoicism. But everyone had that secret thing they were passionate about. Maybe for Joon-gi it was cats?

Usually he was the practical one and Zhao was the passionate one. Obviously that dynamic got flipped on its head for this scenario. He sipped his tea and finished his miso soup, already feeling some of the chill being chased away.[]

All right. [He could escalate this to an argument, but what would be the point? Joon-gi was setting himself up to be really hurt and all Zhao could do was be supportive when the inevitable happened.]

We're still taking her to the vet tomorrow. But you can name her whatever you want. Everything I've looked up, we gotta feed her every four hours. So if you take the next shift and I take the one after that, we'll alternate until appointment time.

[He didn't have to work tomorrow anyway and it'd give him a chance to sleep a little bit in case he felt like ass in the morning. He stood up and took all the empty dishes and began to clean them. It gave him an extra chance to rein in the impulse to say something stupid. It was the kind of thing he'd live to tease Joon-gi about, but that would end up biting him in the ass. He was so emotional about this right now and his boyfriend did need to show more emotion on a daily basis.

He wished it was something else, but what the hell could you do? With the dishes done, he kissed his boyfriend on the cheek.]

You're a good man, baby.

[joongipan]

[ Joon-gi hazarded a sidelong glance at Zhao and nodded minutely, not trusting himself to speak, for the moment. He'd already tipped his hand too much with that unseemly display of emotion, and his first instinct was to withdraw into his stoic shell and slip the mask back in place once more.

But that wouldn't be fair to Zhao, now would it? He promised to be more open with him, to let the mask down every now and again, at least while they were in private. ]

You don't have to do that. I know you've been pulling double-shifts at the restaurant, so you need the rest. I'm more of a night owl, anyway, so it makes more sense if I stay up with her. [ His eyes narrowed with determination. ] Besides, I'm the one that brought her home, so that makes her my responsibility, doesn't it?

[ As Zhao began to clear the table, Joon-gi reached into the box and stroked at the sleeping kitten with the tips of his fingers. He noticed a little silver patch of fur between her ears, and he brushed against it with his thumb. She merely twitched in her sleep, and he couldn't help but smile because she was too tired to pull her tongue back into her mouth.

Maybe he would call her Eun-so, for now. It was a fitting name, given the silver spot on her head. Perhaps the spirit of the old Eun-so would watch over her, too.

He sensed Zhao's approach, and then felt the sudden press of warm lips against his cheek. Joon-gi looked at him, wide-eyed, expression softening.

He never really knew how to respond to such assertions. He wasn't a 'good' person, not by his own estimation, anyway. He'd done terrible things while serving under his predecessor, things that couldn't possibly be forgiven. He'd killed people in cold blood, tortured them for information, and blackmailed those in power who threatened to move against the Jingweon Mafia.

He was cold, ruthless, calculating. Just like his predecessor. He had to be, in order to bear the name of Joon-gi Han. He had an image and a reputation to maintain, after all.

He could try and rationalize his reasons and say it was for survival, but it would never be enough to wipe clean the blood staining his hands.

There was no point in expressing such thoughts, though, because Zhao was already privy to his terrible deeds. And still, he chose to take him in, a worthless stray with neither home nor purpose.

Slowly, he reached for Zhao's hand, just as he was pulling away, and drew it toward his lips, pressing a tender kiss against his knuckles. ]

You're far too good to me, jagiya. More than I deserve. [ He gazed at Zhao demurely though half-lidded eyes. ] That's why I want to be good for you. I don't want to cause trouble for you, especially after you went through the effort of opening your heart and your home to me.

[seemagicshit]

[It had been forever to get Joon-gi to be a fan of casual affection in private. He definitely wasn't a fan of PDA and Zhao could respect that. Hell, the only thing they'd ever done in front of the gang was hold hands during movie night.

So it always caught him off guard when Joon-gi let himself be affectionate. It was sweet of him. But seriously? Not wanting to cause trouble? You'd think he was a stray--

Oh fuck me, he thought. This whole evening instantly made so much more sense. He felt a little bit like he'd seen the man in his underwear and not in a "we're about to have fun" kind of way, but in an accidental seen too much kind of way.

Forget being hurt, Joon-gi would be devastated if the kitten died. This was a huge emotional step he took. But he certainly couldn't just blurt that out. He did smile at the kiss on his hand and did what always worked best when facing a difficult situation. To be confident everything would work out.]

C'mon. My house is your house is our house. I'd be happy to feed little stinky after some sleep, which frankly I think we both need. So set an alarm and you take the first watch and then reset it for me, okay? We've had an evening and she's nice and warm, so why don't we go to bed?

[joongipan]

[ Even after nearly two months of cohabitating, it was hard for Joon-gi to feel like he had any ownership of the space. There were small nooks and crannies he had carved out for himself, such as the window in the living room where he kept his air plants in hanging globes, the suncatchers dangling from the frame. There was his corner of the dining room table where he worked on various projects; his half of the bathroom sink crammed with way too many skincare products.

His mugs, Zhao's dishes. His fashion magazines, Zhao's extensive DVD collection. His mess, Zhao's mess. In his mind, there were strict delineations between who owned what, and Joon-gi had tried his best to take up as little space as possible in Zhao's home.

But maybe it didn't need to be like that. Maybe it was okay for Joon-gi to use Zhao's favorite mug, or to shelve his books next to Zhao's DVDs. To allow their messes to bleed into one another, to stop holding himself to some impossibly rigid standard of conduct. ]

You're right. I think we've all had a rough evening, some more so than others...

[ That last comment was meant for the kitten and Zhao, of course.

Slowly, he stood, keeping a loose hold of Zhao's hand. He could feel the familiar calluses on his fingers from where he gripped a knife or a saber. His thumb gently traced the shape of his knuckles. ]

In case you've forgotten, my phone is dead and buried in a jar of rice, so I'll leave the alarm to you, if you don't mind? [ He smiled a bit cheekily, but his eyes were full of warmth as he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss against Zhao's mouth. ] I'll get Eun-so settled in our room, okay?

[ He slipped his hand from Zhao's grasp and picked up the box containing the kitten, taking it to the bedroom. He set it on the floor near the nightstand, just out of the way enough where no one would accidentally kick it while getting out of bed.

He sat there on the edge of the bed, contemplating the consequences of skipping his nightly skincare routine, just this once.

It probably wouldn't kill him. Probably. ]

[seemagicshit]

Aw fuck, that's right. Gotta be my phone.

[He named it that quick? And the damn thing was going to be in their room? Well, that might make sense for feeding and 'cause it was so young. So he set the alarm for four hours in the future and set it by Joon-gi's things.

Zhao brushed his hair and teeth, feeling exhaustion claw him. The food definitely helped, but he still felt a little bit of a chill. He crawled into bed, mindful not to kick the box and tried to find the warmest spot under the covers.]

C'mon. Curl up with me.

[At least that was the sentiment he wanted to get across before he shut his eyes. If that cat didn't live after everything his boyfriend did, then it wasn't due to lack of effort. It was his last thought before he drifted off...]

[joongipan]

[ Zhao didn't even need to ask. As soon as he was comfortably settled, Joon-gi burrowed under the blankets, slotting his body behind Zhao's, draping one arm across his waist. Joon-gi had grown accustomed to playing the little spoon, taking comfort in the warm press of Zhao's body against his own.

It was a strange, yet not wholly unwelcome feeling, having their positions reversed. For a moment, he simply lay there, listening to the sound of Zhao's quiet breathing and feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest. He could smell the clean scent of soap and Zhao's favorite shampoo as he nuzzled his face against the nape of his neck.

Joon-gi pressed a brief kiss to his slightly damp hair. ] Good night, jagiya. Sleep well.

[ It felt as though he'd only just drifted off to sleep before the sound of soft mewling pulled him out of his slumber. Joon-gi rolled over and fumbled for the phone, finding that it was fifteen minutes before the alarm was supposed to go off. He set it to go off again in another four hours and turned it facedown on the nightstand.

He sat up and stared blearily into the darkness for a moment before hazarding a look down at his boyfriend. Zhao looked like he'd hardly moved the entire time, his measured breath indicative that he was still dead asleep.

Good. Joon-gi hated the thought of disturbing him when he was clearly exhausted from the day's most recent events, not to mention all the extra shifts he'd been putting in at the restaurant. Though Zhao tried to brush it off, Joon-gi could see how the extra work had been steadily wearing on him.

He glanced back toward the phone. He said he'd let Zhao take the next shift, but the man really could use the sleep...

Carefully, Joon-gi slipped out of bed, tucking the blankets close around Zhao so he'd still be warm. He picked the phone up and stuffed it in his pocket before grabbing the kitten box and quietly making his way toward the kitchen.

Eun-so continued to mewl plaintively, though with less urgency than before. Probably because she had just been fed recently and, hopefully, she understood that another meal would soon be forthcoming. At least, that's what Joon-gi wanted to believe.

He set the box on the floor in the living room next to the couch, then made his way to the kitchen to prepare another bottle. Once that was done, he settled himself on the couch with Eun-so on his lap, holding her steady while she drank. Maybe he had a better angle, or maybe she was just less ravenous, but it seemed like she was getting more milk in her mouth than on her face this time. That was a good sign, wasn't it? Joon-gi smiled as he felt her tiny paws kneading against his chest, her floppy ears twitching every now and again.

She was going to make it. She was a fighter, just like him. He could feel her tiny heartbeat fluttering against his palm, strong and determined.

Eventually, she finished her bottle, and Joon-gi wiped her down and gave her a chance to use the litter box before putting her to bed. He tucked the heating pad under the blanket next to her, watching as she waddled around the confines of her box on unsteady feet. He gently stroked his fingers along her back, scratching at the silver spot between her ears. ]

[ Settle down and go to sleep. ] [ He had slipped back into Korean, now that he was alone. It was the language he had always used around the old Eun-so. ] [ You have a big day tomorrow, and you need your rest. ]

[ It took a while, but Eun-so finally waddled to a comfortable corner and flopped over, blinking her eyes several times before falling asleep.

Satisfied, and knowing that there was nothing else he could do for her, Joon-gi lay back on the couch and stared at the ceiling, resigned to the fact that he wasn't likely to get much beauty sleep tonight. Even so, he was fine with taking on the burden. He'd been the one to bring Eun-so home, so that meant she was his responsibility.

He closed his eyes and hoped that he would drift off swiftly, before Eun-so or the next alarm woke him up again... ]

[seemagicshit]

[Zhao slept like a rock and the only reason he woke up when he did was a massive need to piss. His sleep fogged brain took care of that in the bathroom. Only after he'd washed up and looked at himself in the mirror and saw a litterbox in the reflection that he recalled the previous evening and that he was supposed to feed the beast. And slept through his alarm.

He ran into the bedroom again, not seeing kitten or boyfriend. He sprinted down the hall into the living room and looked around in a panic.

Everything was all right, apparently. Kitten was asleep in her box bed, boyfriend was at the table and apparently breakfast was served?]

Do I have to feed stinky? Or...you...you let me sleep in, didn't you?

[His panic began to settle with no, he hadn't slept through anything, just that his boyfriend decided to take on the task himself. And also got breakfast. Zhao sniffed with early morning congestion and got himself a tissue before sitting to eat.]

Did you get me crepes? What kind?

[joongipan]

[ There was a plate of strawberry crepes covered in sweet cream in front of Joon-gi. More accurately, there was only half a crepe in front of him, the rest of the plate carefully cleaned of its contents.

He'd been hoping to finish before Zhao woke up, so he wouldn't bear witness to his shame. But after the everything that happened last night, he deserved a cheat day, didn't he?

Joon-gi lowered his fork, which had been hovering in the air midway to his mouth when Zhao announced his presence. ]

Yeah, I did... [ He smiled a bit sheepishly. ] When I saw how peacefully you were sleeping, I just couldn't bear to wake you up. You've been looking so rundown the past few days, I thought you could use the extra sleep.

[ By the time the sun had risen, Joon-gi decided there was no point going back to sleep. So he took the opportunity to put on his face, dabbing a bit of extra concealer under his eyes to hide the unsightly dark shadows around his lower lids. He looked perfectly immaculate, his cheeks shimmering with a dewy look.

No one would ever guess that he had clocked in less than four hours of sleep last night. And he intended to keep it that way.

He pointed with his fork to the paper bag sitting on the counter. ]

There's a salmon crepe in there for you, with a house-made balsamic drizzle. Everyone's raving about it in the reviews, so I thought you might like it. [ He twirled his fork, jabbing it in the direction of the coffee maker. ] Coffee's ready for you, too. I put in an appointment with the vet for ten today, so that should give you enough time to eat and get ready before we have to go.

[ The kitten wobbled into a seated position and yawned, pink tongue curling. She craned her head to stare out of the box and chirped a morning greeting. ]