[In Zhao's mind, they were both underwater. That feeling of drowning was pulling his boyfriend under and Zhao had to make a decision. He could save himself or he could fight like hell and pull them both to sunlight.
"My heart has been broken once before..."
With everything Zhao was putting together and now with this information, it smacked him right in the face. His boss wasn't just his boss, he was his goddamn everything.
He would bet all his kitchen knives that the old boss was the one that put all this tangled mess into Joon-gi. He didn't really want to know everything, but he had a good idea that the relationship dynamics were fucked to the Moon. He'd been a boss; he knew what it felt like to have that kind of power and how easily it could be to hurt someone with it. And he'd bet an ass cheek that it was why his boyfriend got so upset about power dynamics, since it'd been practiced on him.
Well. Shit. He now knew exactly what was trying to drown his boyfriend. The goddamn ghost of his boss and all the bullshit thought processes that came with it.
He could save himself or fight like hell.
When bad things had happened in his life, Zhao always fought back. Even when there'd been no hope and all of his power as the boss of the Liumang was slipping away before his eyes, even getting the shit beat out of him, there was something fundamental in him that refused to quit. That somehow there'd be a way out as long as he kept hope. Well, now he was the hope, a frightening thought. But you know what?
He always excelled in things he truly cared about.]
Baby, I don't say what I don't mean. Can I predict the future? No. But I want you here, in my home, in whatever future we're building. We are probably going to stumblefuck our way around since neither one of us is an expert. It doesn't mean we just fucking give up because it's hard. It means we figure out where we fucked up and try again.
[This time he sat back, hands on Joon-gi's shoulders just so tear bright eyes could look into his own. No shades to hide anything, just honest raw emotion.]
I can guarantee I will do something stupid while we're trying to be together. It's like...like building a house. We're trying to build a house together and we've never done it before, but we're starting at the foundation. We're starting out okay. We just gotta keep at it. Because the more we try, the better it's gonna be until one day, it'll be all tricked out. Full of furniture and all the friends and good memories we've built together.
It's 1 a.m. and I kinda lost the metaphor but let me tell you this. If you think I'm going to give up on you, you chose poorly. I don't know how to fucking give up and I don't feel like learning.
[He kissed Joon-gi softly and grinned, a little manic. But he always felt like that before his important fights. He could envision himself yanking Joon-gi out of the grasp of a drowning ghost and swimming like hell for the surface. Not before flipping the ghost off. Important stuff.]
You're stuck with my dumb ass. I hope you realize that.
no subject
"My heart has been broken once before..."
With everything Zhao was putting together and now with this information, it smacked him right in the face. His boss wasn't just his boss, he was his goddamn everything.
He would bet all his kitchen knives that the old boss was the one that put all this tangled mess into Joon-gi. He didn't really want to know everything, but he had a good idea that the relationship dynamics were fucked to the Moon. He'd been a boss; he knew what it felt like to have that kind of power and how easily it could be to hurt someone with it. And he'd bet an ass cheek that it was why his boyfriend got so upset about power dynamics, since it'd been practiced on him.
Well. Shit. He now knew exactly what was trying to drown his boyfriend. The goddamn ghost of his boss and all the bullshit thought processes that came with it.
He could save himself or fight like hell.
When bad things had happened in his life, Zhao always fought back. Even when there'd been no hope and all of his power as the boss of the Liumang was slipping away before his eyes, even getting the shit beat out of him, there was something fundamental in him that refused to quit. That somehow there'd be a way out as long as he kept hope. Well, now he was the hope, a frightening thought. But you know what?
He always excelled in things he truly cared about.]
Baby, I don't say what I don't mean. Can I predict the future? No. But I want you here, in my home, in whatever future we're building. We are probably going to stumblefuck our way around since neither one of us is an expert. It doesn't mean we just fucking give up because it's hard. It means we figure out where we fucked up and try again.
[This time he sat back, hands on Joon-gi's shoulders just so tear bright eyes could look into his own. No shades to hide anything, just honest raw emotion.]
I can guarantee I will do something stupid while we're trying to be together. It's like...like building a house. We're trying to build a house together and we've never done it before, but we're starting at the foundation. We're starting out okay. We just gotta keep at it. Because the more we try, the better it's gonna be until one day, it'll be all tricked out. Full of furniture and all the friends and good memories we've built together.
It's 1 a.m. and I kinda lost the metaphor but let me tell you this. If you think I'm going to give up on you, you chose poorly. I don't know how to fucking give up and I don't feel like learning.
[He kissed Joon-gi softly and grinned, a little manic. But he always felt like that before his important fights. He could envision himself yanking Joon-gi out of the grasp of a drowning ghost and swimming like hell for the surface. Not before flipping the ghost off. Important stuff.]
You're stuck with my dumb ass. I hope you realize that.