[ Zhao reached for his hand, fingers lacing together, and Joon-gi found himself clinging tightly, as though his hand were a lifeline.
Zhao really was his lifeline, wasn't he? After the Geomijul headquarters burned down, Joon-gi had nowhere else he could call home.
Until now.
His lips twitched into a half-hearted smile. When faced with a difficult situation, Zhao always tried to inject a bit of levity to ease the tension. It was one of the many reasons Joon-gi found himself falling so hard for the man in spite of everything. ]
Of course. It's always food with you, isn't it? [ He laughed beneath his breath. ] I'll make sure to remember. Promise.
[ He shivered as Zhao pressed a kiss to each of his knuckles, as though he were some fairytale knight swearing fealty to his beloved prince. A faint blush bloomed across Joon-gi's face at the thought of being swept off his feet, knowing that he'd be safe and protected in Zhao's arms.
But his life wasn't some fairytale. There were never any happy endings. Every time he allowed himself to grow comfortable and complacent, something would come along and upend his entire life. Every time he allowed himself to love and cherish something, it would inevitably be snatched away.
Maybe he was simply waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it always did.
Maybe he was waiting for Zhao to leave him. Because he would, eventually. He'd grow tired of taking care of Joon-gi, of trying to navigate his hang-ups and reticent moods. He'd want someone more forthright, more assertive; someone warm and outgoing and—
Before his thoughts could spiral any further, he felt Zhao's strong arms embrace him, pulling him close. Joon-gi exhaled softly as he felt Zhao's grip tighten against his shoulders, and he trembled as he reached up and hesitantly returned his embrace. He tipped his head against Zhao's shoulder, fingers curling tightly against his shirt.
I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere and I'm not leaving you.
Something broke inside of Joon-gi at those words. His eyes burned with the threat of tears, breath hitching in his chest as he tried to speak over the lump that had suddenly settled in his throat. ]
Don't say things like that. Don't make promises you can't keep. [ His voice was little more than a thin whisper. ] Please. My heart has already been broken once before...
[ Before meeting Zhao, he thought he would spend the rest of his life picking up the pieces. Only now did he realize that the man he had come to love so dearly was holding his missing piece, replacing the ones he had lost along the way.
Maybe that's why he was so afraid of losing Zhao—because losing Zhao would be like losing a part of himself all over again, and could he survive having his heart broken a second time? ]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2024-09-27 12:20 am (UTC)Zhao really was his lifeline, wasn't he? After the Geomijul headquarters burned down, Joon-gi had nowhere else he could call home.
Until now.
His lips twitched into a half-hearted smile. When faced with a difficult situation, Zhao always tried to inject a bit of levity to ease the tension. It was one of the many reasons Joon-gi found himself falling so hard for the man in spite of everything. ]
Of course. It's always food with you, isn't it? [ He laughed beneath his breath. ] I'll make sure to remember. Promise.
[ He shivered as Zhao pressed a kiss to each of his knuckles, as though he were some fairytale knight swearing fealty to his beloved prince. A faint blush bloomed across Joon-gi's face at the thought of being swept off his feet, knowing that he'd be safe and protected in Zhao's arms.
But his life wasn't some fairytale. There were never any happy endings. Every time he allowed himself to grow comfortable and complacent, something would come along and upend his entire life. Every time he allowed himself to love and cherish something, it would inevitably be snatched away.
Maybe he was simply waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it always did.
Maybe he was waiting for Zhao to leave him. Because he would, eventually. He'd grow tired of taking care of Joon-gi, of trying to navigate his hang-ups and reticent moods. He'd want someone more forthright, more assertive; someone warm and outgoing and—
Before his thoughts could spiral any further, he felt Zhao's strong arms embrace him, pulling him close. Joon-gi exhaled softly as he felt Zhao's grip tighten against his shoulders, and he trembled as he reached up and hesitantly returned his embrace. He tipped his head against Zhao's shoulder, fingers curling tightly against his shirt.
I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere and I'm not leaving you.
Something broke inside of Joon-gi at those words. His eyes burned with the threat of tears, breath hitching in his chest as he tried to speak over the lump that had suddenly settled in his throat. ]
Don't say things like that. Don't make promises you can't keep. [ His voice was little more than a thin whisper. ] Please. My heart has already been broken once before...
[ Before meeting Zhao, he thought he would spend the rest of his life picking up the pieces. Only now did he realize that the man he had come to love so dearly was holding his missing piece, replacing the ones he had lost along the way.
Maybe that's why he was so afraid of losing Zhao—because losing Zhao would be like losing a part of himself all over again, and could he survive having his heart broken a second time? ]