[Oh, oh, he got it now. Zhao knew Joon-gi couldn't hurt him, but Joon-gi wasn't as sure and that could drive anyone up the wall and around the corner. He reached out to take one of his hands, lacing their fingers together. His brain was working feverishly because several things were starting to slip into place. But he couldn't just say nothing in that moment, so he reverted to being light hearted.]
Yeah, having a safeword makes sense. I'm going to make it something silly like...uh...pickle, because it'll jar us both out of the moment. If I forget and just start throwing out random names of food, that's what I'm going for.
[He actually said building a future. Holy shit. You only get this upset if you're worried you just fucked up your one chance in having something really important. THAT thought made his heart skip a beat. It made Zhao think of the night that Joon-gi had reluctantly spoke up and wanted to stay at his place for the night. Which led him to think of the morning with breakfast and how the other man had looked at the meal and quietly wept.
It was easy to just sense someone was going through it and give them the space to center themselves. But that plus admitting his fear, plus thinking like he was a stray?
He's fucking drowning.
Zhao kissed his boyfriend's knuckles, one at a time.]
So you know what? We got a plan in place for the future. But you know? Maybe we try other things. Like I said before, us learning how to really get each other off is a skill and we're gonna mess up along the way. So's just...fuck, I don't know how to put this.
Just understanding each other, yeah? I think as long as we keep trying and keep talking about it, we're gonna get better at it.
[Zhao knew a thing or two about feeling like drowning. Getting bogged down with job and position and place in life that threatened to crush his sense of self to nothing. But he was strong. He withstood it as long as he could. But ultimately, what helped him were real friends.
He didn't know enough to know how to pull Joon-gi out of whatever was trying to drag him down. But maybe being there was a start. He scooted his chair around, just so he could hold the other man in his arms and then whisper in his ear.]
I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere and I'm not leaving you.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-09-26 02:57 am (UTC)Yeah, having a safeword makes sense. I'm going to make it something silly like...uh...pickle, because it'll jar us both out of the moment. If I forget and just start throwing out random names of food, that's what I'm going for.
[He actually said building a future. Holy shit. You only get this upset if you're worried you just fucked up your one chance in having something really important. THAT thought made his heart skip a beat. It made Zhao think of the night that Joon-gi had reluctantly spoke up and wanted to stay at his place for the night. Which led him to think of the morning with breakfast and how the other man had looked at the meal and quietly wept.
It was easy to just sense someone was going through it and give them the space to center themselves. But that plus admitting his fear, plus thinking like he was a stray?
He's fucking drowning.
Zhao kissed his boyfriend's knuckles, one at a time.]
So you know what? We got a plan in place for the future. But you know? Maybe we try other things. Like I said before, us learning how to really get each other off is a skill and we're gonna mess up along the way. So's just...fuck, I don't know how to put this.
Just understanding each other, yeah? I think as long as we keep trying and keep talking about it, we're gonna get better at it.
[Zhao knew a thing or two about feeling like drowning. Getting bogged down with job and position and place in life that threatened to crush his sense of self to nothing. But he was strong. He withstood it as long as he could. But ultimately, what helped him were real friends.
He didn't know enough to know how to pull Joon-gi out of whatever was trying to drag him down. But maybe being there was a start. He scooted his chair around, just so he could hold the other man in his arms and then whisper in his ear.]
I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere and I'm not leaving you.